Hey there, I’m back! it’s been nearly a year and a half since my last blog post. One year, five months and ten days to be exact, but I can explain..
To make a long story semi-short, life sort of just happened. 2019 was rough. But 2020 was like: “But wait, there’s more!!” *spits profusely*
And here came a whole virus outbreak, unemployment rates skyrocketed, murder hornets attacked, all concerts and festivals cancelled, more police brutality and rioting. We also lost Kobe Bryant, his daughter and teammates in a tragic plane crash and so much more. At this point, maybe 2019 wasn’t too bad after all.
Since my last post, I made a career change. I traded in my scrubs, clogs and stethoscope for slacks, dress shoes and a longer rush hour commute, but it was worth it. I worked as a Risk Management Analyst and it was the most fulfilling job I’ve ever had. I was feeling and looking my best last summer (2019). I even surpassed my weight gain goals- I was gettin’ thick on ’em for real, uh ha-ha.
Listen, I was out here living my best life. I went on family vacations to the Bahamas, Grand Turk, and Bermuda. I’m low key kickin’ myself in the ass for not blogging at that time, it would have made great content for sure.
So anywho, I was making more money and I soon began to lose control of my finances very fast. I racked up credit card debt, made large expensive purchases including a brand new 2019 Honda Accord Sport 2.0T that I fully regret. You know the saying: “people start making a little bit more money and don’t know how to act”?
It’s me, I’m people.
I was living that “F***it, I’ll get paid again next week” lifestyle. I soon realized that I’m a toxic compulsive shopper. I buy things just to feel better in the name of “self-care” and “retail therapy”.
Then, I thought i was ready to get off anti-depressants but I lied to myself and my doctor, I wasn’t ready. I wanted to get off anti-depressants so I could join the Air Force sooner. But, the gag was on me because according to the recruiter, I had to be off anti-depressants for at least 2 years before I could join, which made zero sense. I personally know several military personnel who are struggling with mental health issues, and many come out of the military with PTSD and whole list of other issues but hey, what the heck do I know?.
Anyway, I got rejected from the Air Force, I relapsed, had several mental breakdowns, lost interest in blogging and other things I enjoyed, lost 20+ pounds, gave up on love and dating, lost my college grant scholarship because I wasn’t taking enough credits, stopped caring for my hair and experienced a lot of breakage and damage, I stopped taking my birth control and ended up having a hormonal back acne outbreak. Then, corona-virus came, I lost my job, had to file for unemployment, and wiped out what little investments and savings that I had. Whew chile, what a mess.
New Found Hope
I decided to take my life back and embarked on a spiritual self-healing journey. Wallowing in self pity was not a good look. I realized that yes, there were some things I couldn’t control but a lot of my problems were of my own wrongdoings and miseducation.
My life being in shambles was no one else’s fault but my own. It’s like when you finally confront the person who’s been ruining your life and you realize it was you the whole time *gasps*.
So, I got really into yoga, meditation, energy healing, and practicing Law of Attraction with daily positive affirmations and manifestation scripting. I’ve been learning more about myself, my triggers, finding out what and who makes me happy, etc. Also, I’ve been getting to know God again. I guess I’ve been scared to talk to God because I was afraid of what he might say.
My mood and skin are improving and my weight has definitely been increasing again. I also found a therapist in my area that specializes in Reiki, and I’m super excited to go once this pandemic goes away. I established new friendships and I’m nurturing current ones.
Within the next year I’m planning to be pretty much debt-free (minus my car note) and God willing, I’ll be able to move. I have a brand new outlook on life, every year things are changing, I’m changing. I just want to be the best version of myself as I can be. I’ve made more mistakes than I can count but I’m a work in progress, okay!. I’d rather make my mistakes now in my 20’s so that in my 30’s, I can sit back and laugh at my younger self while sitting on a beach being fed grapes (the red ones) by somebodies son and basking in financial freedom.
Now that I have a little more time on my hands, this has been the perfect time to set some new goals, get creative, restart my hobbies, find new ones, and brainstorm on my next career move and future business endeavors. I have a whole list of things I want to do once we get through with corona-virus.
In a way, I think the corona-virus pandemic needed to happen. It was a rude awakening for all of us to slow the hell down, take better care of our health, cherish our loved ones, to never depend on these corporate jobs (that will replace you in a flash), and of course the importance of having more than one source of income.
Plans For My Blog
Consistency is the goal. When I first started my blog in 2018, I rushed right into it with very little thought or effort. I didn’t even have a working laptop at the time. All my posts were done from my phone and it shows.
Reading my older posts makes me cringe, I contemplated on deleting them all, but somebody is gonna see this growth, honey. I reestablished my reason for blogging, I set a schedule and planned out 3 months worth of content. I have an accountability partner and I want to recruit all of you as my accountability partners too. If you see that it’s been a while since my last post, you have my permission to pull up on mehh!
But in all seriousness, I’m planning to stick around this time.
Just bare with me.
If you are still subscribed and following me after all this time, thank you, and if you’re new here, welcome to my diary!
Till next time,