I’ve been feeling very annoyed and anxious for the past week or so..
These random explosions happening around the world (one of them being in my city) got me super paranoid. So many bizarre deaths in general..
Every time I log into social media people are arguing about politics- who’s the lesser of two evils, blah, blah, blah. Cardi B’s WAP video- men vs. women debates, conspiracy theories, who deserves more stimulus check money and what people should be doing with their unemployment benefits. Just simply slandering people who loss their jobs.
Like there’s really people out here talking about if you not coming out of the pandemic with new professional skills, a new business, 10 side hustles, a new house, a new car, 2 degrees, fluent in five languages then you’re a bum like please, shut the hell up. We are all just trying to make it through this thing alive and in good health, shouldn’t that be enough?!
We’re now 5 months into a pandemic and as an introvert you would think I would be having the time of my life but I’m beyond over it now.
I miss the sense of normalcy I had. I miss how things were prior to January 2020. I miss connection, I miss intimacy, I miss hugging, I miss breathing freely without a mask. I miss concerts, festivals, going to the movies, eating at restaurants and vacationing. This is the first year we’ve ever had to cancel a family reunion. I just miss having somewhere to go, something to do and look forward to. I really don’t know whether I’m coming or going, my life feels like an endless loop, just reliving the same day over and over. My financial & career goals have been stalled. I feel so overwhelmed with emotions- stuck, bored, angry, worried. Not to mention, how much I find myself procrastinating lately..
Nothing feels right.