“Feminine energy is about slowing down, surrendering control, relaxing, letting go and allowing the flow of life to take it’s course. It’s about being present and not directing the flow of events as much as allowing the events to unfold. Feminine energy is soft, fluid, nurturing, sensual and emotional”- (Thea, Anna).
It’s radical unapologetic self care.
“Masculine energy on the other hand is structured, stable, strong, goal oriented, focused, and logical. Masculine energy gets expressed when you’re working towards a goal, making progress, getting things done, and pushing forward. For people of all genders, both feminine and masculine energy are necessary to embody in order to feel like a complete person”-(mindbodygreen.com).
“Feminine energy gets expressed when you go with the flow of life, embrace your creative energy, dance, play, and attune to your internal process”- (mindbodygreen.com).
For the past couple of months, I’ve been too in touch and stuck in my masculine energy. When you are out of touch with your feminine energy traits for too long it may cause:
- Overworking with little to no rest. Increased stress levels.
- Poor health- Mental and physical.
- Anti-social behaviors. You are more likely to become withdrawn from friends, family, etc.
- Feeling off-balanced.
- Neglect of personal needs.
- Dependence on outside sources to make you “feel good” about yourself, feeding off of: technology, social media, and other people.
The energy we should be feeding off of the most is our own!
So, what is sensuality? This word is often confused with sexuality.
Sensuality is the enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure. Something or someone that is sensual gives pleasure to your physical senses rather than to your mind.
It’s about appealing to the senses- smelling, tasting, hearing, touching, and feeling in order to awaken the body which can strongly contribute to a sexual connection. It’s passion, seductiveness, and eroticism. A deep intimate connection. Whereas sexuality is related to pleasure, your desires and what you want your body to feel.
Sensuality is leaving a little “somethin’, somethin’” to the imagination. Just think of: giving a sample but not the whole package.
We are all sensual and sexual beings whether we are expressive about it or not. Humans crave intimacy, connection and physical touch.
How to tap into your sensual feminine energy.
Now that we’ve gotten the definitive and boring stuff out the way, here’s how to tap in and express your sensual feminine energy.
& it all begins with your attitude.
If you constantly talk bad about yourself, constantly saying negative things like: “I’m ugly”, “I’m stupid”, then that’s exactly what you will be. Start speaking highly of yourself and speaking positive affirmations over and over and you will begin to feel it and believe it. Write them down on sticky notes and place them all over your house as reminders if you need to.
We are all way too hard on ourselves. It’s so easy to become self-critical and compare ourselves to people and celebrities we see on social media, and that’s an indication to step back and do a social media detox for a couple weeks/months.
Remember: positivity and confidence looks good on you!
“When you look good, you feel good.”
Is one of my favorite quotes because it’s 100% true. Whenever I get my hair done, I feel like a brand new chick especially when I’m wearing one of my favorite hairstyles (big curly Diana Ross hair or Sexy bed hair/ beach waves). I love the wild, untamed, and effortless looks. Your hair is your crown, so treat it like such with a fresh hairdo, color, cut/shape up, re-twist, etc.
When it comes to picking out what to wear, it’s important to find something you feel comfortable and the most confident in. I would suggest just laying around in the nude, wearing sexy lingerie, a nice silk robe or lounge wear. Sometimes I feel amazing just wearing an oversized tee. It’s the simple things that can be the most sensual. You can add on your favorite jewelry and/or makeup to compliment.
Always make sure your nails are well groomed and clean. A fresh mani and pedi is the icing on the cake when it comes to looking good. Also, create and maintain a consistent skin care, body care, and dental care routine for yourself. Skin and teeth cannot be neglected.
Hair done ✅ nails done ✅ everything did.
To make sure you are tapping in completely follow the “Senses” checklist:
- Smell – wear scents that mix well with the natural chemistry of your body. They shouldn’t be too strong and aggravating to the nose. Apply perfume or cologne to your pressure points only- wrists, neck/behind ears, and behind the knee caps. Your scent should make heads turn when you walk pass (not in disgust though).
- Taste – I know we like to brag and say “I taste like strawberries” or “cupcakes” and a whole variety of other foods but honestly, we shouldn’t be tasting like anything and if we do, it should be a natural sweet taste depending on water intake and a good diet.
- Hearing – Words of affirmation from yourself or someone you have a relationship with. Music can also boost sensual energy, it certainly does for me. Most specifically some good R&B. Sometimes a song has a way of saying exactly how you feel without you having to speak a word.
- Touching – Physical touch. Skin to skin. Keep your body moisturized and supple. Certain fabrics feel great to the skin like: silk, satin, and velvet.
- Feeling – Emotionally expressing yourself, saying how you feel, being honest, and doing only what feels good.
Self-care isn’t selfish// prioritize playtime.
Tapping into your feminine energy involves relaxing so get as much sleep and rest as possible. If you listen close enough to your body it will tell you exactly what it needs and wants. Got back pain? Book that full body massage. Acne breakout? Book that facial.
Soak in a hot tub or a hot bubble bath with an oil diffuser and music. Curl up on the couch with a blanket, a good book, and a cup of tea, take yourself out on a date, plan a mini trip, buy a new perfume or cologne, buy yourself flowers, do yoga, listen to music, anything that helps you unwind and feel pampered. Your self care time should always be an experience!
Feed your creativity.
This has been one thing I’ve been really neglecting lately because I work so much and by the end of the day I’m too tired to make time for the hobbies that I enjoy.
“Creation can occur in many ways- artistic expression, writing, dance, painting, or dreaming up new ideas. Anything that expresses your flow is considered feminine.”- (mindbodygreen).
Spend some time in nature.
You can’t embody feminine energy without honoring Mother Nature/earth. Being in nature is the best grounding technique when you’re feeling unbalanced.
Surround yourself with plants and flowers, visit a forest, a park, a hiking trail with nice views, go to the zoo or a safari and take in all the beautiful animals and natural scenery. Take time to feel the ground beneath your feet, the breeze brushing against your face, inhale the fresh clean air, listen to the birds chirping and singing. Give thanks!
Reflect + emotionally connect.
The feminine is expressed through emotions which is why women are the more emotional beings. There’s nothing wrong with allowing yourself to be soft sometimes. Release your feelings, cry if you have to. It’s about being present and letting yourself sit in how you feel in that moment before allowing it to pass.
You can reflect through journaling, speak with a therapist, or spend time with friends and family and get everything off your mind. This is sure to help boost your emotional intelligence.
Take some time to be celibate because being alone with your own sensual/sexual energy can do wonders for your self-esteem and confidence during sex. It will give you time to learn about what your body likes so you can be able to communicate that with your partner. Buy some toys, explore, and have fun. Don’t become so dependent on someone else to give you pleasure.
I highly encourage you to take lots of sexy pictures and nudes. Seeing your body taking on different shapes, positions, and angles can be very arousing. Try getting dressed in the mirror too (with the lights on!). Also, eating certain foods can heighten your sensual/sexual energy. A personal favorite of mine are strawberries and chocolate.
Check out the ‘Nutrition Ideas’ blog post on “Natural, Sexual Stimulants” for more ideas. Peruvian maca root is at the top of the list for me to try out. If you’re on birth control pills, you know the impact they can have on your mood and libido *eye rolls*.
I hope you enjoyed these tips for tapping into your sensual feminine energy (regardless if you are a man or woman) and that you will make space for letting go and letting in what feels good.
love always & happy valentine’s day!