The Art of: Sharing Music as a Love Language

“Making a playlist is delicate art. It’s like writing a love letter, better in a way. You get to say what you want to say without actually saying it. You get to use someone else’s poetry to express how you feel.”- Rob Brooks (played by Zoe Kravitz, ‘High Fidelity’, Hulu- 2020)

Before the days of music streaming apps, we had cassette players, cassette tapes, CDs and CD players, the boom box, IPods, and even the good ole 90’s HitClips audio players. Wow, I feel old.

Remember the days of illegally downloading music through LimeWire and the amount of skill and patience it took? or selecting the perfect song to add to your Myspace profile? Not so long ago we were all downloading ringtones for each person in our phones and adding music to our voicemail recordings.

I remember making mixtapes and burning CDs and titling them “Songs that made me think of you”. I had intentions of giving the tapes to my crush at the time but never followed through cause I was too shy. Only to have the tapes eventually get lost in the piles of toys and other things I forgot about over the years.

All throughout high school, I couldn’t fall asleep without having the radio on. I couldn’t wait for 10:00pm to hear Baltimore’s Magic 95.9’s ‘The Quiet Fire’ radio show play all the nice ‘n slow R&B tunes. Magic 95.9 was specifically formulated for the sophisticated 30 and older crew but I was listening and loving it since my pre-teen years.

I have my “old skool” parents to thank for my expansive taste in music. I never liked limiting myself to only one genre of music or only listening to today’s current music. I gravitate towards the unknown and underground artists compared to the mainstream. I could be listening to Too $hort one minute, then Ashlee Simpson the next. ‘Autobiography’ was a great album in ‘04 by the way. I was pop, lockin’ and dropping it one day and head-banging in an imaginary mosh pit the next.

I love being put on to new music and vice versa. Sharing your favorite songs with someone is a love language all on its own. Someone’s favorite songs are windows to their soul. It’s an intimate gesture, similar to a hug or a kiss. What better way to show someone you were thinking of them. Having a music connection with someone is a huge plus in a relationship. It’s an indication of empathy and passion.

“Listening to music, dancing, and singing together has been shown in several studies to directly impact neural chemicals in the brain, many of which play a role in closeness and connection” (Suttie,2016). Music releases endorphins, a natural high like feeling.

There’s nothing like vibin’ out to music with your best-friends or your boo and when y’all song comes on, you both yell out: “ayyee” in joyous union. Music bonds people together like no other. What’s a party with no music? What’s a backyard BBQ without hearing MAZE & Frankie Beverly’s “Before I Let Go”?

Music has the power to heal and stir up many emotions and all you can do is just let it happen. Even more so when you associate a song or an album to a specific time or person in your life. That deep nostalgic feeling. Often times it may even become difficult to listen to those songs if that person is no longer in your life or if things have just changed over time.

When it comes to making playlists, it takes a lot of time, thought, and dedication. If you are lucky enough to ever have someone make you a playlist, they must really love them some you!

High Fidelity’s Rules to Making a Playlist:
  1. There has to be a theme
  2. It has to be entertaining
  3. The message behind it can’t be too obvious
  4. You can’t double up on songs by the same artist unless that’s your theme
  5. It will be challenging to make
  6. The most important track is #1 because it sets the tone for the rest of the playlist
  7. There needs to be an element of surprise
  8. The closing song is tough to find because you want to finish on a high note

I don’t care what anyone says, making playlists is considered an artistic hobby, okay?!

I myself, currently have a couple playlists on my AppleMusic profile such as: my “Bo$$ Bitch” playlist (it always gets me hyped and feeling myself), to my “I don’t know what this feeling is but I like it” playlist (about being in my feelings/in love) and more. One of my favorite parts about making a playlist is coming up with names for them. I also have a whole dedicated highlights for music on my Instagram profile.

Music just makes everything better. It turns the most mundane daily tasks into an experience. It’s great listening to music while working, driving, cleaning the house, cooking, studying, making love, etc.

I’m definitely the type of person who will not drive off until I have the right music playing. I’m the type of person who will bring every speaker in the house into the bathroom while I shower. I will also hop my naked ass right out that shower to change the song if it’s not the right song for my mood.

Music is an addiction I simply do not desire a cure for.

If you could have a theme song for every time you entered a room what would it be? (“Flashing Lights” by: Kanye West is the first song that comes to mind for me ☺️) And do you believe in music/love connections?

love always,

7 responses to “The Art of: Sharing Music as a Love Language”

  1. This is very Meticulously Broke down and I want to say thank you very much … I was wondering why god gave me a gift of Creating music as well as Listening to it so much, I was questioning to myself “is music my love language?” And reading this made it a lot more clear for me to understand

    Liked by 1 person

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