Back in May, I was invited by a long time friend of mine to join group therapy cause we both felt like we could really benefit from it. If you didn’t know, May was considered ‘Mental Health Awareness’ month.
And for the sake of privacy, I won’t mention the practice that held the therapy sessions. I don’t have anything bad or negative against them, I just want to speak on my experience only.
It was four week sessions held every Thursday in the month of May, and it was free. The sessions started around 6:30pm which I was thankful for cause it allowed us 9 to 5ers enough time to get home and settle down first. The sessions ended a little after 8:30pm and they were zoom-based, so I was able to attend in the comfort of my own home.
Unfortunately, I did not attend all four sessions, I barely finished two cause I quickly lost interest and here’s why..
Throughout my entire life, I never liked working in groups. Every time a group project came up in school I wanted to just disappear like–
I just don’t like the idea of my entire grade being based off of everyone else’s work as a whole. I don’t enjoy the overachiever that likes taking over the entire project, I don’t like dealing with the slackers that contribute nothing, I don’t like when everyone is talking over each other, trying to get their points across, need I say more?
Although it was through zoom, I still arrived late. Thankfully, I came in at the end of introductions cause I dread those as well.
For the most part, it started off well. There was lots of informational presentation slides to take notes off of and the host seemed to be pretty knowledgeable. There were other “guest speakers” and chat moderators as well. But there was one speaker in particular that bored me to death. Her voice was so monotone and she talked super slow, I thought I was going to fall asleep. It took forever for her to get through just one slide.
I enjoyed hearing everyone’s testimonies and having the reassurance that I’m not alone in this journey.
Soon after I realized the same people kept talking. At that point, I didn’t want to participate or say anything because I was overwhelmed and felt like I wouldn’t have been heard. In fact, I kept my video and microphone turned off. Of course the host kept asking: “does anyone that hasn’t spoken want to share anything?” and in my opinion, if given the option to share- I’m not going to.
Then, this older lady (bless her heart) kept having technical difficulties trying to figure out how to work her microphone and camera. Once she figured out how to work the microphone, she did not stop talking after that.
She overshared a lot about her personal life, and kept talking over everyone. I could tell she has major depression, she was pessimistic, and didn’t have any hope at all. She was so miserable and it was starting to make me miserable as an empath.
So going forward, group therapy is not for me. I need one on one sessions so I can get the personalized care that I need without interruption. I want to be able to have more time to connect with my therapist so I can feel comfortable enough to share my life with them.
And I’m certainly not going to be sharing everything with a group of strangers.
I don’t want to be sorting through my own feelings and other peoples feelings at the same time. It’s too much. If it was in-person group therapy sessions, it probably would’ve been worst cause I would have no choice but to engage.
But, at least I can say I tried and I’m proud of myself for that.
Everything isn’t for everybody.