true life: I’m addicted to self-sabotage

Let’s jump right in, no parachute!

Life Updates

I passed my spring course (yay me) and now I’m getting prepared for summer semester starting in May, so I have a pretty nice break right now. Just trying to make sure I can continue to secure as much financial assistance as possible so that I’m not incurring ANY student loan debt because I be damned if I have to deal with Sallie Mae ever again.

I started getting back into language-learning mostly through Duolingo. I’m still learning German, Portuguese, Spanish, and a little French (although I’m kind of losing interest in learning French so I might stop those lessons). Mentally challenging myself to learn new languages has been fun and a great distraction. I’m also reading a lot more and limiting the amount of time spent on my phone.

Daylight savings time is here, and spring has sprung! It’s almost time for me and all my fellow seasonally depressed hotties to come out of hibernation now that warmer weather and more daylight is soon upon us!

Like, ain’t God good?!

Next, I still haven’t had any luck finding a therapist. The therapist that I really wanted hasn’t been accepting new clients in damn near two years and I’m ready to give up at this point. But for the sake of my mental health, I will keep looking until I finally find a match.

I’ve been having some issues related to my gut, so I want to start taking gut health more seriously. I probably need to see a GI specialist and find a dietitian or nutritionist. I also think it’s worth investing in ordering a gut health test to see what foods I’m sensitive to. I know dairy is probably one of them but I’m not ready to let it goooo. But once I started sympathizing with the people that be on ‘My 600lb life’, I knew I had to start changing my habits and my own relationship with food.

And lastly, I’m looking for a 2nd source of income but I have no idea where to start or what I want to do. I just know I want something creative and fun but also something where I make a good amount of money. Basically, I don’t want to do anything similar to my main job.


I finally finished Alice in Borderland (Season 2) and I was left feeling completely puzzled. I probably shouted “wait, what??” a dozen times during the final episode. If anyone can explain it, feel free to enlighten me. The games this season were super intense all the way through. Is it crazy that Chishiya was my favorite character out of everyone? he was very observant (like me), mischievous, and he made smart moves. I also liked Kuina too and her fighting ability.

Next, I finished YOU (Season 4). I was not expecting that plot twist at all. Joe is really crazy as hell, he almost had me fooled. I also finished season 2 of Harlem and I can’t wait to find out who’s pregnant!! Omg. (Sorry for the spoiler but this season has been out for a while so oh well!)

I started watching old episodes of ‘True Life’ and ‘My Super Sweet 16’ and the nostalgia has me very emotional cause I remember being a young tween obsessed with these shows growing up and remembering how things were during that time brings back a lot of memories. The early 2000s were a time to be alive! The fashion, the music, the vibesss. Watching True Life as an adult has made me realize how most of these participants just needed therapy honestly. Which is why I think if I was on an episode of True Life, it would be called ‘I’m addicted to self sabotage’ for sure!

Also, I wanted to find a good old TV series to get lost into. I already tried Grey’s Anatomy, and I fell off, so I chose Law & Order: SVU and The Vampire Diaries instead. So far so good. I’m still trying to figure out how the Salvatore’s (The V Diaries) are related to the Mikaelson’s in The Originals but I’m only in the first season so maybe it’ll make sense later.

T.V. Shows

  1. Swarm – Season 1 | Prime Video. “Murder. Sex. Music. This is not a work of fiction.” One of the best series I’ve seen in a long time!! Dominique Fishback did amazing as Dre. She portrayed the perfect anti-hero. I’ve been following Dominique’s career journey since ‘Judas and The Black Messiah’ and I was ecstatic to see that she was going to be in this new Donald Glover series. It was wild, thrilling, funny, and I love how it made me question everything. I could never figure out what was going to happen next, and I loved that. The subliminal messages throughout this series were insane. Chloe Bailey, Kiersey Clemons, Leon, and Damson Idris all ate their roles, but Billie Ellish really shocked me the most, her acting was SO good and believable. Every time she did that snapping thing with her fingers I was shook. I seriously doubt there will be another season, but I truly enjoyed it for what it was. I also want to mention how cool it is that Malia Obama co-wrote episode 5 called ‘girl bye’.
  2. Murdaugh Murders: A Southern Scandal | Netflix. “Shocking tragedies shatter a tight-knit South Carolina community and expose the horrifying secrets of its most powerful family.”
  3. Rap Trap: Hip Hop on Trial | Hulu. “The Atlanta case against Young Thug (Jeffery Williams) and Gunna (Sergio Kitchens) stunned the hip hop world and reignited a national conversation around the use of song lyrics as evidence in criminal cases. For some, the lyrics are evidence of wrongdoing. But for others, this case spotlights a disturbing trend of criminalizing Black art that goes back decades. Artists, music executives and those close to the accused trace hip hop’s evolution, historical mischaracterizations of the genre and other examples of when lyrics have been introduced in the courtroom, including the story of McKinley Phipps Jr. in New Orleans.”
  4. MH370: The Plane That Disappeared | Netflix. “In 2014, a plane with 239 people aboard vanishes from all radar. This docuseries delves into one of our greatest modern mysteries: Flight MH370.”
  5. Dateline: The Last Day | Peacock. “Every murder investigation begins with the victim’s last day and the crucial clues left behind; investigators explore the final hours of unsuspecting victims to determine what — and who — caused their deaths.
  6. My Lover My Killer | Netflix. “This docuseries examines murder cases in which the victims meet tragic ends because of relationships that go very wrong.”

Movies + Films

Since there’s been so much talk about John Wick: Chapter 4 coming out, I decided to go back and binge-watch parts 1 to 3. And now I see exactly what the hype is all about, I’m obsessed, and I can’t wait to see part 4 soon. I don’t appreciate Winston shooting my boy off the roof like that. John was too kind cause Winston should’ve been got GOT. Anyways, I still need to see Scream 6 and Creed III. Might just treat myself to a little solo date to the movies.

  1. Master | Prime Video. “Three women strive to find their place at an elite Northeastern university as old as the country. When anonymous racist attacks target a Black freshman — who insists she is being haunted by ghosts of the school’s past — each woman must determine where the real menace lies.”
  2. Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin – Watch Full Movie on Paramount Plus. “A documentary filmmaker follows Margot (Emily Bader), as she heads to a secluded Amish community in the hopes of meeting and learning about her long-lost mother and extended family. Following a string of strange occurrences and discoveries, she soon realizes this community that welcomed them into their home might be hiding something sinister.”
  3. The Reading – Movie | BET+. “After a deadly home invasion, Emma (Mo’Nique Hicks) copes by writing a book, but when a young psychic and her team perform a reading in her home, a new terror is unleashed.” Although not as atrocious as ‘Jeeper Creepers: Reborn’ but this was still a bad movie. Comical even. I can’t believe they had Monique in this low budget black market Tubi looking ass movie. Lee Daniels should never do this again. Just leave the horror genre alone please.
This review had me soooo pissy!!! I was dying laughing! OMGggg. Watch the movie first and then come back to watch this review immediately.


So much good music dropped in the month of March, I don’t even know where to begin…

Dreamville dropped a soundtrack for Creed III, and I haven’t heard a soundtrack this good since 2018’s Black Panther soundtrack. It was literally perfection. It makes me feel worse for not going to Dreamville Fest this year. But it’s okay, I will be attending the festival next year- God willing!

6lack is back with new music and his newest album- ‘Since I have a Lover’ is so beautiful. The epitome of ART. Just based off the first listen, I get the impression that 6lack may be in love or has experienced a love lost but he really put his heart into this. It’s vulnerable and so sweet!

The EP to the ‘Swarm’ TV series was a fun listen, I think Kirby deserves a lot more recognition but I’m happy she got her time to shine on this EP.

Miley Cyrus ‘Endless Summer Vacation’ is probably her best album yet, it sounds good, and it feels super authentic. She really redeemed herself from that weird era she went through 2013 to 2017. In ESV, you get a great mix of pop Miley and rock n roll Miley.

My favorite song right now is a split between Tink- ‘Fake Love’ and ‘Lay Up’ by Dreamville & SiR ft. Syd. I’m a Syd stan and her voice sounds like butter paired with SiR. ‘Lay Up’ makes me want to lay up with my lover all day. And I like the meaning behind Tink’s ‘Fake Love’ because she’s really spitting facts and I feel every word she’s saying from the first verse and beyond.

My favorite “newly discovered” artists this month are Amari Noelle, Jozzy, and Jordan Ward. They’re all R&B/Soul artists and I think it’s worth checking out their music. You can find their latest projects listed in the playlists below.

(((Link to Spotify Playlist)))

(((Link to Apple Music Playlist)))

Favorite Albums

  1. Creed III: The Soundtrack – Album by Dreamville | Spotify
  2. Since I Have A Lover – Album by 6LACK | Spotify
  3. Endless Summer Vacation – Album by Miley Cyrus | Spotify
  4. FORWARD – Album by Jordan Ward | Spotify
  5. Red Moon In Venus – Album by Kali Uchis | Spotify
  6. Masego – Album by Masego | Spotify
  7. Thanks 4 Nothing – Album by Tink | Spotify
  8. Better Luck in The Next Life – Album by Chiiild | Spotify
  9. Gumbo – Album by Young Nudy | Spotify
  10. Lover Girl Pack 1 – Album by Amari Noelle | Spotify
  11. The Terrell One Million Show – Album by Terrell Grice | Spotify *2021 release*
  12. Comfortable Enough – Album by Mac Ayres | Spotify
  13. Soulection Takeover: 2K23 Edition – Album by Soulection | Spotify
  14. The Hurtbook (Homegirl Pack) – Album by Alex Vaughn | Spotify
  15. i love you but this is goodbye – Album by Princess Nokia | Spotify

Favorite Eps

  1. Swarm – EP by Ni’jah | Spotify
  2. Just For Clarity 2 – EP by Blxst | Spotify
  3. Songs for Women, Free Game for Niggas – EP by Jozzy | Spotify
  4. PHILEO Deluxe – EP by Sebastian Mikael | Spotify
I love Durand Bernarr’s voice, he’s one of a kind and I’m happy he’s finally on Tiny Desk.

Podcast Episodes

Tia Mowry’s laugh is so infectious. This was very funny and entertaining to watch. My mood was instantly lifted.
Rome and Jess’s co-parenting dynamic is so healthy and beautiful! I love this for them.
Not me also being a grown ass woman without m(any) friends lol.

Locs + Beauty

Marble Chocolate Nails

1 Year & 3 Months Loc’d!

The fact that this is allllll me and no added hair. You can’t tell me nothing!! I’m truly overwhelmed from all the compliments I get on this style and my locs in general. It’s a huge confidence boost. This has really been a beautiful self loving journey.

Body Yogurt

Y’all know I’m not a floral girl, so this was different for me. The main reason why I got it was because it was rated as one of the best sellers. I particularly love the fact that it’s best used on wet skin. So, I apply it straight out the shower. It’s definitely fast absorbing and I feel moisturized and soft for hours.

Avocado Body Scrub

I haven’t tried this product yet on my skin because it smells so good that I don’t even want to use it low-key. I literally open it just to smell it, who knew avocado could smell this good?

PSA: ‘The Body Shop’ count your freakin days cause why is this body scrub smaller than the palm of my hand?!

Food + Snacks

Crabby Fries

There’s a food truck that parks outside of my job every Thursday called Masons All American. I tried them out for the first time and decided to get the crabby fries and babyyyy they were bussin! I mean just look at ‘em!

Kookaburra Wings

Let’s talk about these amazing kookaburra wings from Outback Steakhouse! They were so delicious. Shoutout to my coworker for putting me on. They’re just the right amount of crunchy and soft. Well seasoned and the perfect size. I wanted all flats but this particular location couldn’t accommodate that due to “lack of inventory” but thats fine. They delivered on the taste!

Hershey’s Ice-cream

I don’t care what anyone says about butter pecan ice cream!!! Everyone swears it’s an old peoples flavor but I don’t give a damn. Butter pecan has been my favorite since I was a little girl, I loved it then and I love it now. Hersheys has been snappin on the ice cream lately. I love that they are personal sized cause I’m not sharing, mkay?. In addition to butter pecan, I had strawberry, coffee, and a caramel-paradise-something. Run, don’t walk to the store and get you some.

Watermelon Salt Water Taffy’s

They taste like salty watermelon. No other way to describe ‘em!

That’s all for now, xoxo…

Happy Birthday to all the bold & brave Aries out there and I hope all the Pisces enjoyed their birthdays!

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