2018: A Year In Review

Hello all, Happy New Years Eve! Can you believe we made it through another year already? 2018 literally flew right past. I can’t say it’s been a bad year nor can I say it’s been great either.

My Mental Health

I have come to the realization that there’s no quick cure for depression and anxiety. I still have my mood swings but I have learned to manage my feelings more effectively. I’ve been more open and expressive and I figured out what my triggers were and a lot has to do with my surroundings/environment and generally the things I consume myself with, most specifically, social media which I’m trying to pull away from. Also, I adapted healthy coping mechanisms like journaling, music therapy (I also had sessions with a professional therapist), and allowing myself to take more mental breaks & having self care days doing things I enjoy and not letting the stress of my job follow me home anymore.

This year I got comfortable with being alone which allowed me to build a lot of confidence. Physical fitness was one of the best therapies for me. The absolute only time my mind is completely clear and stress free is when I’m working out, it’s truly the most euphoric feeling ever! For 2019 I’m looking forward to consistent physical fitness and activities like yoga, kickboxing, healthy eating choices and trying out natural alternatives to antidepressant meds like hemp & CBD oil. I’m speaking my happiness into existence!

After the storm comes a rainbow.

Bad times don’t last forever.

Through every dark night, there is a brighter day.

My Social Life: Friendships & Relationships

Over the past four years since being diagnosed with depression, I lost a lot friends. I no longer have a best-friend or a big group of friends I can turn to or depend on. It’s pretty sad but some people are just temporary and are only meant to be in your life for a moment and not a lifetime. People grow apart and that’s ok.

The real ones will always stick around but in my case it was barely anyone that did, but at the same time did I put in any effort to keep them? Nope. I still pushed them all away by isolating myself . As I’ve grown overtime and have come to understanding my mental health issues I’m now open to friendship again.

The problem now is having to re-learn how the hell to make friends again after staying to myself for so long even though I’m a natural introvert. So, consequently my social life in 2018 was pretty much nonexistent due to the fact I was so focused on improving myself and staying busy with work and school this year. But, all year I’ve been dying for more fun and adventure in my life.

There were so many events I wanted to go to but I had no one to do them all with, so I lost out on a lot of experiences. Although, I’m still open to meeting new people I’m not letting the fact that I don’t have a lot of friends hold me back from going out and doing the things I want to do. If I have to go on solo missions, so be it.

Quality over quantity is most important when it comes to the people you have in your life.

God removes to replace.

As far as relationships goes, I’m still single and have been for quite some time now. I haven’t had a real adult relationship yet and I never had any desire to just jump into a relationship out of loneliness. During my singleness, I embraced being alone, I had a lot of time to fall in love with myself and shape myself into a great woman so that the right person will gravitate to me. It took me a long time and great heartache till I discovered my worth. I know what I deserve, I will never settle for less and I know exactly what I want now.

If my next relationship comes in 2019 or after.. I promise to keep it a PRIVATE relationship (not a secret relationship – there’s a difference) And no more wasting time in situation-ships. Also, I’m not making the mistake of sharing my relationship issues with other people ever again. People will know that we’re together but they will not know about our business. Peridot!

I want someone I can grow and build with, not someone who will hold me back. I am not perfect and I don’t expect them to be perfect, but I still have my standards & values and I hope they do too. I don’t need anyone to try to fix me because I’m not broken. I just want someone to love and support me while I work through things on my own. And vice versa, I’ll be there for them every step of the way to make sure they are succeeding and being the best person they can be..in openness, in love, in respect, honesty, trust & communication.

I’m ready.

My Career: Goals & Finance

Let’s just say, my money management skills was in fucking shambles this year. I would just spend, spend, spend and no investing or saving. Pay day would be Friday and I’d be broke and looking stupid by Monday. I set goals but ended up accomplishing three out of ten this year. I procrastinated and was scared of my own potential that I did nothing.

I learned the hard way that a goal without a plan is just a dream and that’s exactly what I did this year, dreamed and wished. I take full responsibility for not being ahead in my career goals. But, no more excuses! now that I’ve wallowed in my pity it’s time to actually make some changes and get my shit together.

2019 is all about being on my way to financial freedom, new beginnings, saving, budgeting and investing. Even if I have to sacrifice not going on any vacations this year in order to get out of debt, it will be so worth it. I’m going to stop sharing my goals, instead I’m going to just start doing more and saying less.

If you’re not happy with your situation, change it.

Things I’m Leaving Behind In 2018:

  1. Uncertain relationships
  2. Fear and self doubt
  3. Procrastination
  4. Poor money management skills
  5. Negativity – I’m not arguing with nobody and letting them disrupt my peace
  6. Internet Validation – no more making comparisons
  7. Painful childhood trauma – the past cannot be changed, I can only continue to heal.


How was 2018 for you? What did you accomplish or didn’t accomplish? What are you choosing to leave behind in 2018?

Peace & blessings!

Product Review: BoldenUSA

What is Bolden? Bolden is a skincare brand built by black women committed to making beauty products especially formulated for women of color. Bolden prides themselves on emboldening women and helping them to embrace their natural beauty, confidently. Their products are claimed to be paraben and sulfate free. So, after coming across such good reviews I was very eager to give their products a try and share my review. So far, I’ve been using Bolden products for about 12 weeks now.

My skin type is oily, breakout prone with hyperpigmentation.

boldenusa.com

1. Cost & shipping – 10/10

• Affordable and fast. I got the full skin care set for less than $100 ($88.50 to be exact). Mostly, each item in this set is under $20, which is a great rare deal! Shipping took the average time of a week.

2. Skin clarifying cleanser ($16.50) – 10/10

Product description: A gentle pH balanced formulation that addresses all key issues which contribute to dull, congested and breakout prone skin. Deep cleans, unclogs pores and prevents breakouts. Includes powerful antioxidants, antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties that renews & protects the skin.

I felt that this product was very gentle on the skin, not too drying, it lathers really well and it definitely unclogged my pores. Pleasant smell and my skin felt soft and fresh. Overall, I’m satisfied with this product and would reorder it.

3. Brightening glycolic acid toner ($19.50) – 5/10

Product description: Brighten dark spots, diminish lines, and improve skin texture and tone. Oil free moisture and calming botanicals. With the regular use, discoloration from acne, sun damage and aging is dramatically reduced.

I didn’t see any change in my hyperpigmentation but I felt like my skin texture was more smooth and it helped with oil control. I noticed a weird smell which kinda turned me off. Overall, I felt like this product was just OK so I don’t think I would re-order it.

4. Clear skin clay mask ($18.50) – 1.5/10

Product description: Eliminates excess oil, thoroughly cleans and closes pores, leaving skin clear and smooth. Sulfur kills bacteria that causes blemishes and sloughs off dead skin cells, preventing pore blockage. Contains mineral-rich bentonite that removes environmental toxins and impurities from the skin.

The smell of this mask is strong and horrible. My skin feels super dried out afterwards and I get a burning/tingling sensation when I am applying it probably due to the sulfur, ugh. Positively, It does come off easily and I did get some improvement with my breakouts. If it wasn’t for the added ingredients and smell, I would’ve liked this product a lot more. No reorder for me.

5. Nighttime repair serum with 10% glycolic acid ($29.50) – 10/10

• Product description: Exfoliates dead and damaged skin cells and boosts cell turnover to reveal a more youthful and radiant complexion. Contains a powerful combo of 10% glycolic acid and potent antioxidants to clarify and rejuvenate the skin, restoring elasticity and firmness. Stimulates collagen formation. Lightweight, silky consistency, smoothes on and absorbs quickly.

Everything that the product description described, is true! It has a really nice matte finish, it’s so rejuvenating. This product truly does work better overnight although you can use it during the day too. Overall, I love it and would definitely reorder.

6. SPF 30 Brightening moisturizer ($28.00) – 10/10

Product description: Combines advanced ingredients with broad spectrum sunscreen to visibly improve the look and feel of skin. Nourishing moisturizers and robust antioxidants help restore hydration and radiance while SPF 30 sunscreen guards against UV damage. Vitamin C lies at the heart of our formulation providing brightening corrective properties and counteracting daily oxidative damage.

A sunscreen + moisturizer all in one what more could you ask for! This product has a very smooth consistency not too thick or too watery, it is just right. It’s definitely light weight. I don’t get a dull ashy gray tone after applying it like I would with most sunscreens. Instead, my skin looks supple/hydrated and warm. I love that it has SPF 30 which is the best sunscreen for darker skin tones and it contains vitamin c. Pleasant smell. I love it and will reorder.

7. Overall rating of the clear skin kit = 8/10

• I would recommend Bolden products. I took off two points due to my dislike of the toner and harsh clay mask but everything else was on point. Currently, I’m working on incorporating more natural products back into my skin care routine but I will still continue to use some of Bolden’s as well. Stay tuned for my full skin care routine. If you would like to purchase from Bolden Click here .

* Here’s a bonus sneak peek into one of my happy self care-skin care sessions lol :

Till next time..

June Favorites

Hey everyone! I hope you are all doing well. We are already half way through the year, wow! For today’s post I want to share some of my favorites from the month of June, in terms of music, entertainment, etc. Enjoy!


Music 🎶

• Everything is Love x The Carters (album)

This album came by surprise to everyone and it’s pure vibes! I’ve probably listened to it everyday since it’s been released and it’s just right for the summer time. I’m so happy they released it to Apple Music and Spotify instead of just Tidal.

“Summer”, “Apeshit” , “Boss” & “Friends” are some of my favorites. If I had to choose my absolute favorite, “Apeshit” is the one! Non-stop twerking, hehe.

• Got Friends x Miguel & Goldlink (song)

I love this collab and would love if they do an entire album together. Their voices mesh perfectly, so eargasmic.

• Scorpion x Drake (Album)

I’m not too impressed with this album as a whole.

“Mob ties” (side a) and “in my feelings” (side b) is the best songs to me. I liked the concept of having Side A & B. Side B would have to be my favorite, it really brought back that good ol’ get-you-in-your-feelings Drake music.

I still can’t believe he actually has a son out here and was able to hide it for so long (listen to “March 14”) And how about that song “Don’t matter to me” with Michael Jackson on it? Interesting.

Books & Magazines 📚

• Soar x TD Jakes

This book was more of an how to start your own business/becoming an entrepreneur book. I expected it to be more spiritually inspirational but nonetheless, it was good.

• Essence Magazine’s June 2018 “men’s” issue

First of all, can we please just take a moment to appreciate the cover photo of Michael B. Jordan! I particularly loved this issue because it talked about how guys really feel about the #metoo movement and keeping black men healthy.

I loved Terry Crew’s interview and believe he is so brave for opening up about his own sexual assault which a lot of guys are very ashamed to talk about. But, unfortunately sexual assault happens to a lot of us and it’s nice seeing a males perspective for once.

Movies 🎥

• Super Fly

This movie was a remake of the original 1972 version. Trevor Jackson starred as Preist in this new version released on June 13, 2018. I’ll admit, I didn’t have high hopes at first because I believe some movies just shouldn’t be remade or have sequels but I really enjoyed this one. It was very entertaining. This street hustler thriller had me on the edge of my seat. Did I mention how foinee Trevor Jackson is?! Good lawd!

• ‘Slasher’ on Netflix (TV Show)

My current not so guilty pleasure, my binge watching obsession. If you like murder mysteries, blood, gore and horror, need I say more?

Food 🍪

•Raspberry cheesecake cookies from Subway

I just now discovered these and so glad I did. Delicious!


Yours truly,